Terms and Conditions

Hello, and welcome to the website of Noddascam, Inc. We hope you enjoy your stay on this site; well, actually it is legally required that you do so, so we’re just looking out for you.

You see, by accessing or using this site in any way, you are actually automatically agreeing to our terms and conditions. We know, it sounded crazy to even us, but it turns out this is actually really common practice in the business website world. And a lot of websites are far less up front about it than we are.

All of that said, we happen to have just a few policies applying to you and rules you need to follow. We do not want to go all out with a multipage behemoth, we’re keeping it to the basics.

For instance, by using this site you agree to let us access all information we can garner about you from you, including your browser, Internet Service Provider, IP Address, and more. If you’re concerned about this (trust us, you should not be), you can check out our privacy policy. Why these two types of documents are never combined is somewhat of a mystery to us, as they clearly go together. Oh well, who are we to argue with convention?

Another thing you agree to is Noddascam, Inc. installing cookies on your browser. You know those nice, gooey chocolate chip cookies you statistically are likely to enjoy so much? You should probably just keep thinking of those and not the piece of data that will report back to us on your browsing history and password usage. When dealing with bizarrely exploitative corporate policies, we have always found that happy thoughts are the way to go.

Another thing you agree to by the use of our site is acceptance of our definitions for words. For example, Noddascam, Inc. does not mean Noddascam, Incorporated; the “, Inc.” is just part of the name. Every time the words “company” or “corporation” are used on the site, what is meant is probably more accurately described as “entity” or “thing that actually isn’t a company under US or any other law.” And when we say “we” or “us”, you should replace those with “I” or “me”, since this company is actually created by just one dude. Hello!

Lastly, by signing up for our services and goods using the form, you are granting Noddascam, Inc. the legal right to sell and distribute your information however we see fit. You are declaring us immune from any sort of lawsuit on your part, forever. So do consider signing up!

You know, the funny thing is, you cannot really read this document without visiting the page, at which point you have already acquiesced to all of our policies. Pretty weird, huh? It’s standard practice though, so what can we say. Enjoy the rest of your time on our site, and please consider enrolling!

 

(Super secret lastly, this site is a satirical work made for a college course, so none of the above terms and conditions are actually in effect here. Except probably the one that says this isn’t a company and all that, that’s still very much true. Have a nice day!)