This company not only provides the finest of unsuspicious services, it also has a long and proud history1. Noddascam, Inc. was formed in the year 1990, when entrepreneur and entirely nonfictional personage Heinrich Noddascam found the American business industry sadly lacking in legitimate businesses providing free benefits.

Mr. Noddascam, who we again remind you is a completely real individual (no need to check up on that yourself, seriously), was a hard-working, white collar German immigrant to the United States who believed in total honesty just as much as in free, minimal-strings-attached benefits. He was shocked by what he found in our nation: in the arguably more civilized European continent, companies give cost-free deals on quality goods and services as standard practice; in the US of A, not so much. Pledging himself to mend the one gaping flaw in the otherwise perfect nation he was already proud to call home, Mr. Noddascam generously gave of his time and money to create this fine company from the ground up.

Tragically, in 2014 Mr. Noddascam was brutally gunned down by thugs, no doubt hired by greedy business leaders jealous of his wise policies and enormous financial success. Subsequently, all information on Mr. Noddascam, as well as his company, was wiped clean off the internet by professional hackers. The cruel established elite sought to not only eliminate kindly Mr. Noddascam, but also to eradicate his life’s work and legacy.

We remaining employees face the difficult task of bouncing back from the damage dealt to us. In spite of the almost overwhelming challenges, we seek to re-establish this company, and give quality benefits free of charge to the American people!

That’s where you come in. By signing up for our free services, you are helping us to rebuild this glorious and compassionate corporation. By simply filling out our enrollment form, you are telling those greedy “one-percenters”2 that you reject their uncaring system and cruel oppression3. And by sharing this page with your friends (or generously signing them up yourself), you are helping to put Noddascam back on the map!